Tell us the short story behind your home.
“We bought our place, a two-unit Edwardian building in the Outer Sunset, with another couple in 2013. How we ended up here was a total fluke. We knew the people selling it and they approached us. The bottom unit was in need of a complete makeover and they thought we would be up for the challenge. When the proposal fell into our lap, we asked our friends who were also house hunting if they'd be interested in going in on the property together. They loved the top unit and from there we put in an offer. Six months later, we were renovating our flat. We really lucked out!”
How would you describe the aesthetic of the space?
“A mix of handmade furniture, flea market finds, and a lot of art. Plus, a backyard oasis, so we can be outside as much as possible.”
What's your philosophy when it comes to decorating?
“Find stuff you love. Your aesthetic will come out of that.”
What are some of your favorite art works or furniture you own?
“I love both the beds. Jay built our bed and Romy's bed has been in Jay's family for a few generations. I love all the art in our house. We've been collecting art since college.”
What are your thoughts on kid stuff taking over your space? Is every room a playroom or do you try to keep it corralled?
“Every room is a play room and I'm fine with it, so long as the toys go back to their rightful spot at the end of the day.”
What excites you most about motherhood?
“Seeing the world through the eyes of a child again. As an artist, I'm always trying to get back to that place of complete lack of inhibition; complete honesty and freedom with my work. I think Romy has helped me find that place, or get closer to it.”
What makes you most nervous?
“The typical stuff, like crazy drivers and bullies. But I get truly scared that our bond will not be this strong forever. I hope she'll always see me as her confidant and turn to me when life gets challenging.”
Do you have any mom icons, either celebrity or real women you know?
“I'm lucky that I have a lot of incredible women in my life who are raising children. I think we all lean on each other a lot for support. I have one friend with two daughters, 8 and 11 years old. I often turn to her for advice because she's past the toddler stage. She always has honest and insightful advice on toddlers and parenting in general."
Tell us about Romy's name.
“Romy Kaye Nelson. Instead of hyphenating, we used my last name as her middle name. Romy was just a named I've loved for a long time. After Romy was born, we looked up the meaning and read ‘dew of the sea.' She was born at home, in the foggiest neighborhood of S.F., so that was serendipitous."
What advice would you give to a woman about to have her first child?
“Childbirth is crazy, but what's more crazy is the first two weeks home with a newborn. You're a rookie, so make sure you have people around that can help you. Whether that means cooking for you, helping you get the hang of breastfeeding, or someone to care for the baby while you sleep, so that you can get your energy back after birth. And all you need are diapers, some onesies, and a blanket in the beginning, all the other stuff can wait.”
Any parenting books you've found helpful?
“For those who are interested in home birth or just want to read birth stories, Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth really helped me find confidence in giving birth. Also, Anne Truitt’s artist journal, Daybook. It isn’t a parenting book, but I found it inspiring. She writes on being an artist, mother, and woman so honestly.”
Any more kids after Romy?
“We're expecting another girl this July! Both Jay and I have siblings and saw the benefits of it.”
Congrats! What excites you about raising two girls?
"Sisterhood! I grew up with two older brothers, so I have no idea what to expect."
How has the outcome of the election changed your ideas about parenting, yourself, activism, etc.?
"Last summer I read Gloria Steinem's book My Life On The Road and it really shifted my perception on activism. I've always wanted to get involved, but didn't really know how to start. Post election, I felt this urge even more, so traveling to DC to march is just the start of being more proactive. I truly admire people who devote their life to social justice and humanitarian efforts. We all can't be in that field of work, but we can help by simply making donations and volunteering. I'm trying to find my place in it all."
Tell us about what you do professionally.
“I'm an artist.”
Tell us a little about your background.
“I grew up in the Bay Area and went to California College of the Arts to study painting. After college I was in New York City for about 5 years. I have been back in San Francisco since 2010.”
Has your view of work changed after having Romy?
“Yes, in the best way possible. Having a child has made me more confident. I go to the studio everyday so she sees that I'm passionate and happy about what I'm doing with my life.”
How has motherhood affected your career path? (If at all).
“It hasn’t affected my path, but it’s made me more driven with my work. I want to show Romy that you can do anything and there is no better way than leading by example.”
What did maternity leave look like for you, as an artist?
“I gave myself a year without any obligations to shows and permission to not make art, too. I didn't know how I'd feel and what my capacity would be. But around 3 months postpartum, I began working again. I worked on drawings while she napped and at night. I created a whole body of work in that first year. I think it was important for me to say it was okay if I didn't do anything, even though that didn't end up being the case.”
What have been the keys in your eyes to working and raising Romy?
“Being flexible, communicating feelings, and leaving her to play independently. I love watching her exist in her own world, talking to all her animals and dolls. She's working and I don't want to disturb that. As for my schedule, I work during nap time, the two days a week she's at school, and in the evening after she goes to sleep. Luckily my studio is in my backyard, so I'm in and out of it all day. When I begin installing exhibitions, I call Granny to help out while I work long days.”
Do you have a good support system in the Bay Area?
“Yes, some of my closest friends and I all had kids at the same time. And we're almost all walking distance from each other.”
What do you like most about your job?
“I love that Jay, my husband, and I are on the same career path. We are each other's biggest support. Being an artist can be lonely, you work alone, you're in your head, so it's nice to have someone to share that with and bounce ideas off of. Because we make our own schedule the three of us spend a lot of time together. Sometimes we all hang out and draw together, it's pretty great.”
You and Jay travel a lot for your jobs. Any tips on taking a toddler on a road trip?
“We started traveling with Romy when she was a month old. It's not always easy, but I think the long-term reward far outweighs the momentary frustration. I see it as the start of her education. There will be tears and they will pass. We all need to get out of our comfort zone every now and then and explore.”
Any commentary about the idea that art and parenthood can't successfully coexist?
“There are plenty of women that disprove this theory: Laurie Simmons, Ruby Stiler, Anne Truitt, Laura Owens, Clare Rojas. It's just a shame that it's still a conversation. Obviously our country is still dealing with sexism, the result of the election has proven that. The only way to move forward is for more women to be represented in galleries and in museum exhibitions. I could go on, but I'll leave it at that.”
Any tips on balancing a relationship and parenthood?
“Communicating, carving out time for each other, and romance.”
What’s up for you next, career-wise?
“I have an exhibition coming up in February.”
Tell us about Romy's room.
“Romy has the best room in the house. It has bright, natural light all day long. The rug is from the Rose Bowl Flea Market. The canvas baskets were made by Flint Outdoors. A photograph by Kanoa Zimmerman is in there and the drawing and painting are mine. The wooden boxes holding the books were stools used in the exhibition The Possible at the Berkeley Museum of Art. Both Jay and I were in the exhibition. I was 40 weeks pregnant screen-printing fabric at the museum. The boxes don't look like much, but I'm sentimental about them."
How would you describe your personal style?
“If I feel good in the clothes, then it works.”
Has your style changed since becoming a mother?
“I'm often in the same jeans and t-shirts, because I'm in and out of the studio. I like to dress up when the occasion arrives.”
What pieces would you consider your staples?
“Jeans, tees, tunics, sweaters, and boots.”
Who are your favorite designers?
“Céline for sophistication, Caron Callahan for style with ease, Rachel Comey for confidence, and Permanent Collection for keeping it classic.”
Any fashion trends you are currently loving?
“I try to stick to classics and just find pieces that I can wear for decades. Postpartum I sold and donated over half my wardrobe. I just wanted to be rid of everything. It was very impulsive and I just wanted to have a uniform. I think I still strive for that, but I haven't nailed it yet. Turns out it takes time to build up a solid, timeless wardrobe.”
How and where do you shop?
“I thrift and eBay hunt for most of my clothes.”
What’s your beauty routine like?
“I use Marie Veronique products day and night. I recently got a facial from Kristina Holey that was really informative and helped hone in my regime. I hardly wear makeup, but if I do it's mascara and lipstick. I wash my hair once a week, any more and it would be crazy frizzy.”
What about your wellness routine?
“I try to run twice a week. It’s a new thing. I used to practice yoga and pilates pre-child and I miss it. But since the beach is so close, it's been really rejuvenating to go there and exercise. It's also efficient.”
What do you love most about raising Romy in S.F.?
“Being in a city with the proximity to nature and raising her in a very inclusive city.”
Would you ever live elsewhere?
“Ojai, Inverness, or Guethary, France.”
What are some of your favorite local spots in S.F. and the Outer Sunset?
“Ocean Beach, Koret Playground, California Academy of Sciences, Ortega Library. For Food: Outerlands, Nopalito, Marla Bakery. We built a pizza oven in our backyard so we have a lot of pizza parties at home. Co-ed night at Kabuki Bath House for just the two of us.”
